Here it is another year has come and gone and as I watch the seasons change I reflect upon the year. Every fall I clean my house preparing it for the winter that will soon be upon us. I change the clothes in the closets from spring wear to fall, as the colors of the trees begin to reflect their change as well. I change the colors throughout the house making them match the colors on the trees that will soon be bare. The season change is one of my favorite times of the year, when the splendor of God’s creations come visibly aware and the crispness of the air. It is a time of harvesting and gathering of family and friends. However, this year as I go about preparing the house a deep sadness falls upon me. Basically it is because this year I am not only preparing the house for a changing season; I am realizing that I have also changed my season.
As I look upon the pictures cheerfully displayed upon the walls of the house, and the three children that reflect back upon me. I realize that it is time to change them out and make the reflections on the wall be updated upon the changes that have occurred within the house. I still have the baby photos on the wall, good Lord, baby photo’s –my oldest son is 23. He moved out of the house two years ago this January, moved to another town 2 hours away. He has his own apartment, a job and is working hard at going to college. I visited him three weeks ago and found not the little boy that I once new but a young man determined to succeed in everything he sets his mind to. I am so very proud of him and how well he seems to be handling it out on his own.
My daughter who is turning 18 in three weeks has also undergone some growing pains of her own. Last January she too also decided to leave home and move in with her father. Her thing was that she decided she was too grown to follow the rules of the house and that her father was much easier to deal with. Well that lasted a whole seven months and now she has decided once again that she needs to really spread her wings and fly away too. She is sharing an apartment with friends, she has a part time job and has one year of high school. This change in her took me by surprise but then I had to reflect upon myself when I was her age and understand where she is coming from. I now realize how my parents felt when I did the same thing to them at the same age. I pray to God to give her guidance, wisdom and to watch over her. I know her strength and I know she can do anything she puts her mind too; just slow down a bit that’s all. I love you Megan…you will do fine, I just have to adjust my mind to it – it’s harder on the parents you know…I wasn’t ready to let go….
The last one on my list is my youngest who of course is the baby of the family. Baby – hmmmm not quite, he turns 10 in just three weeks. From the experience, of the other two I know I only have about three to four more years before he starts wanting to be with the “friends”. He has already started having his own thoughts on things and we have already have had discussions on different things. He’s my little investigator the inquisitive one. That’s OK, that’s how they learn about life, and again it’s just hard on me. I looked at his room and realized that we will have to add things to his room to match a little bit more maturity. When we moved into this house he was three and his sister was 11, how long ago that seems and how many changes this house has seen. But, again I realize it won’t be too far in the future when he too will follow the others and spread his wings.
Now I know why they call it the empty nest because it’s all you have done for years. Raising, feeding, nurturing and teaching the hatching's how to survive so when they get to this point they can flap their wings and soar high. But the house was full of life and warmth and now is only left with the memories of how these children were. Sadness fills my heart, the change is part of life, time to figure out what to do as it seems I will have time on my hands for something I haven’t thought of in a long time – myself.
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