04 Jan 2008
'GOD GRANTED HIS REQUEST.' 1 CHRONICLES 4:10
The name Jabez means 'a cause of pain,' but it was a label he refused to wear and a prophecy he refused to fulfil and you should too! Just because someone calls you illegitimate doesn't make it so. The Bible says that you were in God's mind before you were in your mother's womb (Psalm 139:13-15). So who are you going to believe? Jabez wouldn't let his beginnings dictate his end. He refused to allow his family to keep him down and his borders to keep him in. Listen to his prayer, 'Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm...and God granted his request.' A few years ago we were all praying the prayer of Jabez. What happened? We need to start praying it again. It's time to break out and become a boundary-crosser! Instead of settling for less, to start believing God for more; more wisdom, more strength, more victory, more character, more favour, more blessing, more______________? (fill in the blank!). Only twice in the New Testament do we read that Jesus 'marvelled.' Both times it was over the dogged, determined faith of two unnamed, unsung people who asked and believed that He could turn things around for them. This is what Paul had in mind when he wrote, 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him, but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit' (1 Corinthians 2:9-10 NIV). God has something He wants to show you concerning your future - so get into His presence and stay there until you see it.
Wow did that make a big statement for me today and it is along the lines I have been thinking today- too weird. I have a so called friend - yeah so called is correct, anyway he is judging me - severly at that. Not that I haven't been judged in the past and all it always comes back to this. So here it is, people make mistakes... or should I say misjudgements of character. And who is to say what a mistake is...maybe it was meant to be for reason's unknown to us all. Anyway to this friend he who throws the last stone, because I know what grows in your garden ... so who are you to judge. But perhaps the judgement is a rouge to get me to do what you want - so sorry I have God in my life, can't tempt me, better find someone else who is on your level - gross, sick, sick... So sorry your life is not what you want it to be/ or perhaps it is... please read the following that was also given to me this morning ... hmmm maybe someone is telling me something -
These are five very difficult questions that you need to ask yourself to see where your relationship stands. Just how dark are your feelings about your relationship, and just how negatively do you think about yourself and your partner? Under no circumstances should you share these answers with your partner. We tend to over exaggerate our negative feelings when we get in disappointing situations, and we forget to emphasize our positive feelings. But for now, lets get it all out — and into a journal. Have the courage to be honest here, even if it is scary to admit certain things through your answers. The only thing worse than having a relationship in trouble is to have a relationship in trouble and be in denial about it. As is the case with so many problems, early and appropriate intervention can be the key to the ultimate outcome.
1. Considering that at least one definition of love is that the security and well-being of your partner is as significant to you as your own security and well-being, then would you say that, based on results, you behave in a way that reflects that you are in love with your partner? Why?
2. Using that same definition, is your partner in love with you? Why?
3. Knowing what you now do about your relationship, would you still get involved with the same person if you had to do it all over again? Why?
4. When comparing yourself to other people in relationships, do you feel that you have been cheated or have settled too cheap? Why?
5. If you could break off your relationship or get a divorce from your partner right now without any inconvenience, legal costs, or embarrassment, without any undue hardship on your children (if you have any), would you do it? Why?
By dealing with these issues, you've taken an important step in getting your relationship out of the ditch. By getting real about your relationship, yourself, and your partner, you have identified some dangerous and powerfully destructive forces in your life that you must now contend with. Are you in this relationship because you really want to be? Or are you in it today simply because you were in it yesterday? Spending your life with someone because it's just easier not to change is no basis for a healthy relationship — and if you feel this way, then you've got some work to do. The truth may not be easy, but it's the first, exciting step toward making that crucial U-turn that your relationship demands.
LETTING GO................Have you been dumped, betrayed or left so heartbroken that you didn't ever want to love again? Are you still stuck on an ex and don't know how to move on? And how do you know when it's time to let go and look for love somewhere else? If you're "the other woman" who's waiting for a man to leave his lover, don't waste your time. "If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you," Dr. Phil says. The man you want lacks integrity and can't make a commitment. Are your standards too low? Dr. Phil asks a guest who's waiting around for a man that's let her down time and again: "What is it about you that causes you to settle for somebody that you know will cheat on you, know will lie to you, know will make a commitment and then break it? What is it about you that you believe about yourself that you're willing to settle for that?" Recognize that you're settling and that you deserve more. Set a higher standard for yourself.Does he really even make you happy? Be honest with yourself about the extent to which he's really meeting your needs. Chances are you're longing for the relationship that you wish it could be, and that you want to be in love with the person you wish he was. Dr. Phil reminds a guest: "There are times when you break up with somebody and you start missing them and you start thinking about all the good things. And then you're back with them for about 10 minutes and you go 'Oh yeah! Now I remember why I hate you!'" Don't kid yourself about what it was really like or glorify the past. Don't wait around because you think he's going to change. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so the chance that he's going to ride in on his white horse and do the right thing is pretty slim. Dr. Phil explains, "To the extent that there's some history, you don't have to speculate, you just have to measure."Don't put your life on hold. Every minute you spend focusing on your ex is a minute that's holding you back from a better future. Dr. Phil tells his guest, "As long you are obsessed on this guy, you will never put your heart, soul and mind into getting your life in order and starting another relationship if you want one." Set some goals and start putting your life back together.Ask yourself: Are you hiding in the relationship so you don't have to face the reality of being on your own? Don't stay with someone because it's comfortable and safe. It may seem more secure, but it's not healthy for you and it certainly won't help you get to a better place. Why would you want to settle and waste your life away just to avoid getting back in the game?Be clear with him. "You've got to say not just 'no,' but 'hell no,'" Dr. Phil tells his guest. "'Get out of my life. Stay away from me. Don't call me.'" If you live together, it's time to move out, or you may need to change your phone number. Dr. Phil reiterates: "Do what you have to do." If the circumstances are more complicated or severe, you may need to get a lawyer in order to get child support or to hold him accountable for any other outstanding issues.Don't hold all men responsible for the mistake your ex made. Why should he pay for the sins of someone else who may have wronged you? Learn to trust again — by trusting yourself. Dr. Phil tells a man who's having a hard time letting women back into his life: "Trust is not about how much you trust one person or another to do right or wrong. How much you trust another person is a function of how much you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with their imperfections." Have enough faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone, without any guarantee of what will happen next. If you're playing the game with sweaty palms, it's because you're afraid of what you can or can't do, or dealing with your own imperfections — it's not about the other person. Know that you will get hurt if you're in a relationship. There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He's going to hurt your feelings. He's going to say things that you don't want him to say. He's going to do things you wish he wouldn't do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ''I'd rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone." If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it. Don't invest more than you can afford to lose. While it's important to move forward, you need to take things one step at a time. Don't put so much out there that you'll be emotionally bankrupt if things go south. Don't beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you've learned from it, and now it's time to move forward. Dr. Phil tells his guest, "You'll move on and be a champion in your next endeavor as you did in your past ... Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way."Focus on yourself. All of us come into relationships with baggage, but you need to have closure ..xperiences before you can start a new relationship with the odds in your favor. Dr. Phil tells a guest who's had trouble with her father, her brother and two previous husbands: "Unless and until you've figured out everything you've got to figure out about that and you get closure, you will never come into a relationship with a fresh and clean heart and mind and expectancy and attitude." You're probably not ready to get into another relationship until you heal the wounds of your past. Listen to what he's saying. If he's telling you that you want different things out of life and there's no way you can work as a couple, don't turn his words around into what you want to hear. He's being quite clear.Know the statistics. Dr. Phil tells a guest who's waiting for her ex to come around: "There's a 50/50 chance a marriage is going to work if both people are head over heels in love, passionate and willing to climb the mountain, swim the river and slay the dragon to get to each other. That's with everybody crazy in love and running toward each other in that field that we see in the commercials. The problem you've got here is he's running the other way in the field! So if it's 50/50 when you're running toward each other, what do you think it is when the other person is running out of the field and hiding in the woods?"
Anyway, kinda funny I got this today... so go ahead and judge me for whatever it is you are judging me for. ...go ahead and judge me for my past but you know I'm proud of who I am and am not ashamed of anything I have done. Like I said people make mistakes of character judging, that's no reflection upon who I am - people have to make mistakes to learn, some things are just not taught.
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