A friends blessing and changes

Sometimes you are in the middle of doing things as you always do and do not realize that you are caught up in a problem, where all that you need to do is let go of the problem. I received a life line notice today and am posting what my friend had to say. It not only caused me to go - you know she is right - duh?, but it may also help someone else in their solution to the same problem... Here is what she had to say...

Letting go of things that have basically been a part of our life is very hard to do. We are often leary of moving ahead because we are apprehensive of what is ahead. Our mind tells us it's time to move on, but our heart convinces us that with time and our love to this person things will change. Please understand that it wont. You are a beautiful person, and you need to move on and reach out for the true hapiness you deserve. It's right at your reach, but you can't go on with the future till you let go of the unhappy past. I love you and I want to see you happy. God bless

She is absolutly correct and it is time for me to let go and move forward with my life. Another friend of mine posted a wonderful thing the other day - she stated that she just realized that she "loved her life", how cool is that!!!! Now forward I go to loving the rest of my life!!!!

Give Thanks

Today I am here to give thanks. I started this new year on the 1st of January in the hospital, due to something I was aware of but kinda just blew it off because I was too busy. Well the too busy hit me square in between the eyes on New Years Day as I found I had to go to the hospital. The next two days were full of discomfort and unknowing what the future may hold. Well Friday, April 10Th (good Friday of all Friday's) I will be undergoing surgery due to the 1st of the years episode. - More on this later.

On January 15 of this year I went to my first appointment to help me gain control of my weight - yep - I went to the professionals - Slim 4 Life!!! I have been yo-yoing up and down for years ever since my first child was born - before he came I was in size 7 pants and could even wear child's size 14 from Sears. Well I was just about to hit size 12 and I was tired of trying to gain control on my own because I definitely wasn't winning this battle. So I went to this appointment and was told I would be in a size 6 by May first (sure, sure I thought I have never been a size 6) - anyway I decided to give it a try what did I have to loose???? Oh yeah it did hit my pocketbook - but I figured if I went drastic and got a tummy tuck, lypo suction or a stomach bands I would be out of pocket and still have bad eating habits. So my choice was Slim 4 Life - well guess what - today is April 6, 2009 and I have lost a total of 33 pounds!!!! Yesterday I went shopping for clothes for the first time since the new Year - guess what I wear a size 7 junior pants!!!! I have 17 more pounds to go - so they may be right I may be wearing a size 6 by the time it is all over. I also bought a bikini - first one in about 20 years - I will be tanning when I am recovering from surgery (6 weeks for that). 1st blessing.


Last June I did something that was really scary and frightening for me. I gave up a house I had been living in for the past 8 years to move in with my friend (sister - she is actually my youngest son' s Aunt). It was really a hard thing for me to do because it meant that I gave up some of my freedom and independence and had to learn how to live and co-exist with other people. Haven't done that for years it was just my children and me for years and years and all the decisions were mine to make.

The house I had been living in was my parents house and the rent was dirt cheap - but then there were other things that made it not so worth while too. My parents and I had a falling out about the time I got a divorce - hmmm lets see that would be in the summer of 1995 - so you do the math. They did not approve of some of the things I was doing or the way I live my life - so they decided I was dead to them. The thing of it is I wasn't really doing anything that was so terrible except being who I was - I don't take drugs, I hardly drink, I don't gamble, etc - you get the picture. My crime I guess you would call it was choosing incorrect men - or should I just say men that who were not rich or well set in their life. (But you know I really know that's not it - it's just their excuse - just pray for them). In the mean time it has cost them and my children- they do not know their grandchildren at all - my oldest is 25, he was 10 at the time, my daughter is almost 20 - she was 5 and they do not know my youngest at all who will be 12 this year. So I chose to get out of the house after my daughter moved out - it was too big for the little one and myself, anyway.

Now this was back in June and everyone knows that two families under one roof is a hard thing to do - there has to be compromises and cooperation to get things to work smoothly. I am not the easiest person to live with as I am a neat freak and I like to have a sence of order to things. - Lets laugh at that one because order is not what happens in this household. But you know the other day it occurred to me - the thing that I wanted most in the world - I already have right here in this house. I have people who care for me and my son and love me, really love me and for the first time I actually feel like I am where I belong. Believe it or not we kind of blended into a family who works together. Don't get me wrong we still have issues but what family doesn't - so here is my second blessing.

When I lived at my parents house I did not have any idea of what the future will hold for me. At the time I was making my decision to move or not all I knew were the facts that were before me. I prayed and asked God to help guide me to make the correct decision - now you have to realize at the time I was scared to death - I was safe where I was, been there for years. My son would have to start a new school and make new friends - that's a tough one for a 11 year old who has only been at one school all his life. But you see the decision I made and now it turns out that the Lord was guiding me - protecting me - you see I am a single mom - my oldest lives 3 hours away, my daughter is trying to figure out life and it's ups and downs. I have a 11 year old - had I stayed at my parents house I do not know what I would do for the 11 year old - here where I am I have people to help me as I recover (6 weeks) from surgery. This is my third blessing.

I am scared have never had surgery before and the one time I really needed to depend on doctors, family and hospitals - they let me down (big time). I almost died from child birth with my oldest son due to a hospital and doctors neglect - I had pre-clampsia and went eclamptic after the child was born - had to stay for 5 days without being able to hold my own new born child. So this surgery is really scary for me - but not because I am afraid of dieing because I know the Lord will take care of me. I worry about my children - what affect something like that would have to them - especially my daughter and my youngest son. My daughter because she depends and leans on me at times - especially when things get a little too rough for her. My youngest because his whole world would be turned upside down and drastically change. Not that he wouldn't be loved, it would just be a big change. I know that the Lord does everything for a reason - so I ask you to pray for me to let go of the control I am trying to do in my mind. As you see my children are the world to me they are blessings in of themselves. Each one of them are different, unique and I never would have missed the opportunity to be their Mom. They make my life complete. (4Th blessing)

My last blessing is for you my friends. I have not kept up with each one of you here lately (the past year or so), but I have been quite busy with everyday life. I have worked two jobs since August, went through class at work and then later reviewed on what I knew - that's stressful. Been through tons of doctors since the 1st of January and have had my teeth fixed with numerous dentist visits. Some of you I actually have your email's and I do try to send you some kind of correspondence every now and then. I have watched some of you get married and have your first child... you know who you are (smile). I have watched some of you move to other countries and go far away from the things that are familiar and close to you - you know who you are. I have watched and talked to some of you in regards to school, education, job choices and I have enjoyed each and every one of these visits. You are my friends and with God's will someday soon we will meet. I also have the friends who I already know personally - some of you I have known since I was 16 years old - God we're getting old - (just kidding). We have watched each other get married, divorced and some of us re- married again, and have children and watched them grow together. Some of you I have watched as you have gone through your trials and tribulations - and guess what I still love and care for you. You are very important to me - each one of you and I love you all dearly.

A Peaceful New Year!!!!

As the old year goes out and the new year blows in I find myself reflecting this past year with both sadness and joy. I have been on an incredible journey this year dealing with my past - as hard as it was - and coming to terms to issues that should long ago been buried. I have basically been on this journey for a while - but it came to a head this year and with God's strength I made it through it and will make it through the upcoming months with renewed strength.

My motto has always been the following:

Believe in Yourself

Believe in yourself

to the depth of your being

Nourish the talents

Your spirit is freeing

Know in your heart

When the going gets slow

That your faith in yourself

Will continue to grow

Don't forfeit ambition

When others my doubt

It's your life to live ---

You must live it throughout

Learn from your errors -

don't dwell in the past

Never withdraw

From a world that is so vast

Believe in yourself

Find the best that is you

Let your spirit prevail

Steer a course that is true

Poem by Bruce B. Wilmer

Anyway, I do live by this poem and sometimes (such as now) when it gets real tough and the pain inside is really hard to bear - I have to remind myself of the above.

For this year all I want is peace, peace within, peace in my family, peace in the world. Just plain peace. The last year has been hetic to say the least and I just want peace.

Hopefully, this coming year I will see - my oldest son graduate from college - Yeah! My daughter graduate from High School and my youngest graduate from elementary school - Wow that's a lot in itself. I hope my daughter finds her way back home (not necessarily in the house) but back to where her life is functioning again - we will pray for this, this year.

I will again - tomorrow -(have to eat the black eyes peas today for luck) start my diet and exersise program - hopefully this summer will see a bikini and my belly button pierced - yeah I know how old I am!!!! Hopefully, my friends and I will make that trip to Las Vegas - what a good time that will be! And hopefully I will get my life back on track and off of this side road that leads to no where but hurt and pain. Today, I say good bye to the past and for once I can say I no longer have to look back and say what if - my what if's have been awnsered. And because of this maybe I can be at peace with the past for once and for all.

I want to thank all of my wonderful friends and family who have been by my side and gone through some things with me. Thank you so much for being there and listening - it means so much to me. I hope that I can always be there for you too. For the old friends who have recently come back into my life - you couldn't have came at a better time. The Lord must have sent you at that time to remind me of who I actually am and to help build my self esteem back up. Thank you for your kindness and words you came at just the right time for me.

Thank you for all the people I have met on line this year - I enjoy talking to you and learning from you. I really appriciate the fact that we are all human and that we all have problems, issues and things we all have to cross and bear. It has been a real help for me when I read some of your blogs or things that are going on in your life. Because some of your issues are going on in my life not that I am self centered or anything - it's just I am at times too hard on myself. (All those years with my father - who by the way never forgives.) I pray for that conflict also - but you know I can't change people all I can do is work on myself.

And for the close - I look forward to the beginning of this new year - new happiness, new friends and new life. The past is just that the past - time to start walking in the new life...

Daily Word — Tuesday, January 1, 2008 - http://www.dailyword.com/
This is the year!
This is the year that my dreams come true!
These words from a beloved poem invite me to eagerly welcome the new year: “Wonderful, wonderful, fortunate you, This is the year that your dreams come true!”
This is the year that my dreams do come true as I am blessed with life-celebrating opportunities. Some at first may appear to be happenstance. Yet I know that they have come to me by divine appointment.
This is the year that expectations flow from my vision of good. I am an active participant in the joy-filled life of me!
This is the year that I move forward with zeal and enthusiasm, giving and receiving, committing to purposeful, rewarding goals.
This is the year that brings happiness, a year that I will live to bless. Wonderful, wonderful, fortunate me, for this is the year that my dreams come true!
“Is anything too wonderful for the Lord?”—Genesis 18:14

He Gives More Grace

Showing Grace - An old Quaker bought a cantankerous dairy cow and every milking session became a battle of the wills. Determined to demonstrate grace under fire the old man refused to react when Bessie stomped on his foot, whipped him in the face with her tail, and knocked over the milk bucket. Finally she kicked him against the barn wall and that did it!!! Glowering, he growled, "Thou knowest I'm a Quaker and cannot strike thee back - but I can surely sell thee to a Presbyterian!" When you are the injured party, it's hard to be gracious and finish the job at hand. That's when you need "more grace" and to keep in mind a few important principles.

(a) Conflicting viewpoints help you to grow. If you've ever been around teens you can relate. They're experts at coming up with unconventional, off-the-wall opinions that challege you and keep you honest. (b) Never resort to character assassination. Disagreeing is one thing, destroying somebody is another. Some of the most vicious personal attacks, public and private, have been waged over religion and politics. If you must fight, fight fair. (c) When you lose, take it on the chin. Instead of endlessly rehearsing old grievances, "Help others with encouraging words, don't drag them down by finding fault" (Ro 14:14-19 TM). (d) Sometimes it's necessary to go separate ways. When Paul and Barnabas argued over whether or not John Mark should travel with them, "There followed a sharp disagreement between them" (Acts 15:39 AMP). End of story? No, just the beginning of 2 different ministries! So be gracious! What's happening to you right now may well be God's way of moving you into a new area of blessing

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Being Happy on The Job

This is kinda of funny - just yesterday a friend of mine and I were talking. I had made a statement that I kinda like to come home and veg out for about an hour after working because in my job I am constantly giving out information or using my brain. I talk to about 30 to 40 people a day and give out advise as to how to make a program/system work. The friend took it personally and stated "well if the job does all that to you why don't you find a new job" - the thing of it is this I love my job!!!!! This friend could not understand this and then this morning I read my daily devotional and this is what it has to say.

"The Lord Shall Command [His] blessing upon...all that thou settest thine hand unto." Deuteronomy 28:8

Being happy on the job

Happiness involves feeling good about yourself. It's based on your relationships and achievements. When your gifts and abilities are fully developed and utilized through your life's work, you grow in confidence and strength. Here are 7 keys to being happy on the job:

(1) See work as God's gift, not punishment. "When God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - this is a gift of God" (Ecc 5:19 NIV). (2) Recognize God as your true employer. "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does" (Dph 6:7-8 NIV). (3) Pursue work compatible with your gifts. "If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be Praised" (1Pe4:11 NIV). (4) Learn everything possible about your job. "Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance" (Pr 1:5 NIV). (5) Use criticism to your advantage. In fact, make it work for you; ask for suggestions and correction: "Poverty and shame shall be tgo be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured" (Pr 13:18). (6) Do more than is expected of you. "And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him [two]" (Mt 5:41). Be an extra-miler! (7) Make Jesus your work partner: Stay Christ-conscious throughout the day as you perform your duties faithfully: "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee" (Isa 26:3).

Anyway, thanks friend my prayers were answered and funny but this is pretty much how I view and deal with life - I find that hard work, sacrafice and love is the answser - in the end wonderful things happen - positive thinking is the key to all answers!!!!