Today I am here to give thanks. I started this new year on the 1st of January in the hospital, due to something I was aware of but kinda just blew it off because I was too busy. Well the too busy hit me square in between the eyes on New Years Day as I found I had to go to the hospital. The next two days were full of discomfort and unknowing what the future may hold. Well Friday, April 10Th (good Friday of all Friday's) I will be undergoing surgery due to the 1st of the years episode. - More on this later.
On January 15 of this year I went to my first appointment to help me gain control of my weight - yep - I went to the professionals - Slim 4 Life!!! I have been yo-yoing up and down for years ever since my first child was born - before he came I was in size 7 pants and could even wear child's size 14 from Sears. Well I was just about to hit size 12 and I was tired of trying to gain control on my own because I definitely wasn't winning this battle. So I went to this appointment and was told I would be in a size 6 by May first (sure, sure I thought I have never been a size 6) - anyway I decided to give it a try what did I have to loose???? Oh yeah it did hit my pocketbook - but I figured if I went drastic and got a tummy tuck, lypo suction or a stomach bands I would be out of pocket and still have bad eating habits. So my choice was Slim 4 Life - well guess what - today is April 6, 2009 and I have lost a total of 33 pounds!!!! Yesterday I went shopping for clothes for the first time since the new Year - guess what I wear a size 7 junior pants!!!! I have 17 more pounds to go - so they may be right I may be wearing a size 6 by the time it is all over. I also bought a bikini - first one in about 20 years - I will be tanning when I am recovering from surgery (6 weeks for that). 1st blessing.
Last June I did something that was really scary and frightening for me. I gave up a house I had been living in for the past 8 years to move in with my friend (sister - she is actually my youngest son' s Aunt). It was really a hard thing for me to do because it meant that I gave up some of my freedom and independence and had to learn how to live and co-exist with other people. Haven't done that for years it was just my children and me for years and years and all the decisions were mine to make.
On January 15 of this year I went to my first appointment to help me gain control of my weight - yep - I went to the professionals - Slim 4 Life!!! I have been yo-yoing up and down for years ever since my first child was born - before he came I was in size 7 pants and could even wear child's size 14 from Sears. Well I was just about to hit size 12 and I was tired of trying to gain control on my own because I definitely wasn't winning this battle. So I went to this appointment and was told I would be in a size 6 by May first (sure, sure I thought I have never been a size 6) - anyway I decided to give it a try what did I have to loose???? Oh yeah it did hit my pocketbook - but I figured if I went drastic and got a tummy tuck, lypo suction or a stomach bands I would be out of pocket and still have bad eating habits. So my choice was Slim 4 Life - well guess what - today is April 6, 2009 and I have lost a total of 33 pounds!!!! Yesterday I went shopping for clothes for the first time since the new Year - guess what I wear a size 7 junior pants!!!! I have 17 more pounds to go - so they may be right I may be wearing a size 6 by the time it is all over. I also bought a bikini - first one in about 20 years - I will be tanning when I am recovering from surgery (6 weeks for that). 1st blessing.
Last June I did something that was really scary and frightening for me. I gave up a house I had been living in for the past 8 years to move in with my friend (sister - she is actually my youngest son' s Aunt). It was really a hard thing for me to do because it meant that I gave up some of my freedom and independence and had to learn how to live and co-exist with other people. Haven't done that for years it was just my children and me for years and years and all the decisions were mine to make.
The house I had been living in was my parents house and the rent was dirt cheap - but then there were other things that made it not so worth while too. My parents and I had a falling out about the time I got a divorce - hmmm lets see that would be in the summer of 1995 - so you do the math. They did not approve of some of the things I was doing or the way I live my life - so they decided I was dead to them. The thing of it is I wasn't really doing anything that was so terrible except being who I was - I don't take drugs, I hardly drink, I don't gamble, etc - you get the picture. My crime I guess you would call it was choosing incorrect men - or should I just say men that who were not rich or well set in their life. (But you know I really know that's not it - it's just their excuse - just pray for them). In the mean time it has cost them and my children- they do not know their grandchildren at all - my oldest is 25, he was 10 at the time, my daughter is almost 20 - she was 5 and they do not know my youngest at all who will be 12 this year. So I chose to get out of the house after my daughter moved out - it was too big for the little one and myself, anyway.
Now this was back in June and everyone knows that two families under one roof is a hard thing to do - there has to be compromises and cooperation to get things to work smoothly. I am not the easiest person to live with as I am a neat freak and I like to have a sence of order to things. - Lets laugh at that one because order is not what happens in this household. But you know the other day it occurred to me - the thing that I wanted most in the world - I already have right here in this house. I have people who care for me and my son and love me, really love me and for the first time I actually feel like I am where I belong. Believe it or not we kind of blended into a family who works together. Don't get me wrong we still have issues but what family doesn't - so here is my second blessing.
When I lived at my parents house I did not have any idea of what the future will hold for me. At the time I was making my decision to move or not all I knew were the facts that were before me. I prayed and asked God to help guide me to make the correct decision - now you have to realize at the time I was scared to death - I was safe where I was, been there for years. My son would have to start a new school and make new friends - that's a tough one for a 11 year old who has only been at one school all his life. But you see the decision I made and now it turns out that the Lord was guiding me - protecting me - you see I am a single mom - my oldest lives 3 hours away, my daughter is trying to figure out life and it's ups and downs. I have a 11 year old - had I stayed at my parents house I do not know what I would do for the 11 year old - here where I am I have people to help me as I recover (6 weeks) from surgery. This is my third blessing.
I am scared have never had surgery before and the one time I really needed to depend on doctors, family and hospitals - they let me down (big time). I almost died from child birth with my oldest son due to a hospital and doctors neglect - I had pre-clampsia and went eclamptic after the child was born - had to stay for 5 days without being able to hold my own new born child. So this surgery is really scary for me - but not because I am afraid of dieing because I know the Lord will take care of me. I worry about my children - what affect something like that would have to them - especially my daughter and my youngest son. My daughter because she depends and leans on me at times - especially when things get a little too rough for her. My youngest because his whole world would be turned upside down and drastically change. Not that he wouldn't be loved, it would just be a big change. I know that the Lord does everything for a reason - so I ask you to pray for me to let go of the control I am trying to do in my mind. As you see my children are the world to me they are blessings in of themselves. Each one of them are different, unique and I never would have missed the opportunity to be their Mom. They make my life complete. (4Th blessing)
My last blessing is for you my friends. I have not kept up with each one of you here lately (the past year or so), but I have been quite busy with everyday life. I have worked two jobs since August, went through class at work and then later reviewed on what I knew - that's stressful. Been through tons of doctors since the 1st of January and have had my teeth fixed with numerous dentist visits. Some of you I actually have your email's and I do try to send you some kind of correspondence every now and then. I have watched some of you get married and have your first child... you know who you are (smile). I have watched some of you move to other countries and go far away from the things that are familiar and close to you - you know who you are. I have watched and talked to some of you in regards to school, education, job choices and I have enjoyed each and every one of these visits. You are my friends and with God's will someday soon we will meet. I also have the friends who I already know personally - some of you I have known since I was 16 years old - God we're getting old - (just kidding). We have watched each other get married, divorced and some of us re- married again, and have children and watched them grow together. Some of you I have watched as you have gone through your trials and tribulations - and guess what I still love and care for you. You are very important to me - each one of you and I love you all dearly.
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